31 crazy ways you’ve got too used to living in Dubai
Blasé about seeing the world’s tallest building every day?
Indifferent about the 24-hour sunshine and unexcited by skiing in the middle of the desert? Hmm. It’s possible you’ve started to take Dubai for granted.
Here are some warning signs you’ve been living in the sandpit a little too long…
1. You expect five-star service everywhere you go…
Eh waiter, where is my McFlurry?
2. Your group of friends has started to look like UN conference photos – yay!
3. You settle in for the long haul when you’re visiting the Etisalat store…
4. …And confidently order food delivery to the queue
You gotta eat when you gotta eat. And that’s all the time.
5. You like to think you’re fluent in many languages
“Inshallah, mon amour!” OK, maybe conversational.
6. Your list of essentials for leaving the house has doubled
Keys, credit card, phone… I.D, medical card, passport, sunglasses, factor 50, water, flat shoes, bikini, deodorant, cash. Check.
7. You’ve applied tanning oil in 45 degree heat at least once
8. You think it’s totally normal to spend the morning on a man-made beach and the afternoon skiing in a mall
9. You’re no longer impressed when you see supercars outside swanky hotels
10. You think it’s totally normal to nip into the world’s biggest mall for some milk
11. You’ve become an expert at telling a Karama fake from the real thing
And judging people appropriately.
12. Having eight drinks in front of you at the end of a brunch is totally acceptable
13. Your hair has struggled to adjust to the weird water, so you’ve spent a fortune on fancy conditioners
Fly hair don’t care.
14. You know you need to wear plenty of layers at the cinema
15. You’re so used to the sound of construction work that you kinda miss it when it’s not there
16. 20 degrees? Baltic! Grab your scarves and hats – winter has arrived.
17. Road rage is so commonplace that you’ve started to treat it as a form of therapy
And relax.
18. Sitting in traffic. To your left a large Range Rover with mum, dad, two nannies and up to six kids. To your right, a similar car, with a man and his pet tiger
19. Seatbelts? Unless they’re being used to hold excess shopping, they’re not being used
Seriously, always wear your seatbelt.
20. You expect all stores, malls and cinemas to open until at least 1am
21. Bi-monthly salon trips are now rituals
Because bikinis can be worn all year round.
22. Mani-pedis and brow grooming are standard. You wouldn’t dream of shaping with tweezers yourself
23. You’ve forgotten how to pump petrol
“It goes in here, right?”
24. You get excited about rain
25. You don’t go downstairs to the store. You let the store come to you
Even if it’s just for a can of coke.
26. You no longer use the indicators
27. You’ve started to get slightly less surprised at how hot it gets every summer
And you’ve stopped posting screenshots on Facebook.
28. You’re genuinely surprised if anything is sorted out quickly
In fact, you’ve actually started to allow time for the stuff you need to get done.
29. You’ve realised that speed limits have no power here
They’re more guidelines anyway.
30. Admit it. You’re lazy
“It’s fine. The maid will clean that up.”
31. Your AC breaking down is the equivalent of a natural disaster
“I’M NOT GOING BACK IN THERE UNTIL IT’S FIXED!”
