12 Feelings you experience when ordering take-out in Dubai
Why is it always so damn difficult?
AAAhhhhh take-out, it's the ultimate weekend treat, the only definite cure after a messy night out...or basically the easiest option when you're just too lazy too cook.
When it comes to take-aways in Dubai, we are SPOILT for choice. You can have literally anything you need brought to your door at any hour of the day or night, so of course, (pretty much) everyone takes advantage of this little luxury every now and then.
But with such a huge take-out scene here, we are left wondering; why is it so bloody difficult to place an order? Here are the feelings you've definitely experienced at some point or another when trying to order food...
You're trying to be 'good' this week, (although that Subway for lunch probably wasn't your best decision) but you had a long day, you're STARVING and there's nothing in the fridge but a couple of old onions and a tub of Greek yogurt. Worst of all, the pile of take-out menus (you need to tell the doorman you don't need anymore delivered) are calling out to you...right...you're getting take-out.
You've given in to the idea, now you need to figure out what to get. How many Chinese takeaways can there even be in one little city? And if you get Chinese, will you get noodles or fried rice? Will you need a starter or just a main...or maybe just a starter? Or maybe that's too much carb-loading, does this place do a good salad? Maybe a salad and then some prawn crackers would be a good balance. AARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH
It can sometimes be tricky to communicate with the guys at the other end of the phone, but you choose to order from a spot you've used before; they'll have your number and address saved and probably your last order. EASY! This shouldn't take too long.
Take-out guys: 'Your number ma'am, sir?'
You slowly and clearly give all your digits. Any minute now they'll call up your last order. Just after you've repeated that number. Oh and repeated it again. Oh and they have no log of your address or any previous order. ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!
They ask for a street address and and you realise you don't know it. Surely this is a problem you've faced before? How do you not know your street name? You give the name of the nearest landmark and hope for the best.
*Note: Not the best idea if you live near the Burj Khalifa
Address and number sorted (hopefully), you now realise the minimum spend is AED 100, which is way too much food for one person. But you've come this far, you add an extra side of fries – of course you'll eat them, but you're not happy about it.
"Would you like the large size?"
They repeat your number, address AND order with no mistakes. You hang up the phone and try and take your mind off the painful wait that lies ahead.
They SAID the order would take 45 minutes to arrive right? But what time was that? What if the driver's lost? Has it been 45 minutes? And worst of all...What if your food gets cold? Scary thoughts; you would have been better off cooking something.
Definition of hanger: 'A lethal combination of hunger and anger, the result of waiting so long to eat that your blood sugar drops to dangerously low levels, impairing both your mood and your judgment'.
Example: You've ordered take-out and it's taken well over an hour to arrive. You're hangry and somebody needs to feel your wrath...you're calling back to see where it is when..
The doorbell rings...your food has arrived. You check the contents of the bag to ensure everything is included, (forgetting the prawn crackers at this point would be a catastrophe). You resist the urge to do a little two-step happiness dance in front of the delivery guy (that would be embarrassing) and you prepare to feast.